


Hold Me With Sin

by comets_nix



Category: Good Omens (TV), Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett
Genre: Angst, Asexual Aziraphale (Good Omens), Asexual Crowley (Good Omens), Aziraphale to the rescue!, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Mentions of Sex, One Night Stand, but hey look a happy ending!, sad Crowley is sad
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-21
Updated: 2019-07-21
Packaged: 2020-07-09 15:44:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,189
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19890307
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/comets_nix/pseuds/comets_nix
Summary: Crowley wanted nothing more than to be with Aziraphale. He'd give up everything he had, everything he was, if it meant he could hold the angel close for the rest of time.But demons aren't allowed happy endings, so he supposed this would have to do for now.Aziraphale didn't agree, however.





	Hold Me With Sin

Gender was, in the worlds of Heaven and Hell surrounding Earth, nothing but a disguise used to slip around unseen among humans when business needed to be tended to. A human shaped body with human parts to go with it body could be issued to those allowed permission to walk on the Earth above (or below, depending where one started from), but it would never be more than a spiritual form.

Thefirst angel and the first demon that had set foot on the planet eventually forgot this fact- or perhaps it had just become their normal, after six thousand years. Blending in with humanity only ever got easier for them as the years went on and their friendship grew. Doing what needed to be done without exposing their true ethereal forms hadn't ever really been an issue... _not including the Apocalypse that wasn't, at least._ Although, maybe just the angel had forgotten about it.

The demon, true to any demon's nature, however, always fell prey to the job of tempting- and nothing tempted better than the female human.

Shifting to a more feminine form came easily to him with no second thought. He'd been doing it since he fell. Anything to get someone to commit beautiful sin. That was, until the angel found out more than he wanted to.

***

Aziraphale was certain of many, many things. He was certain he knew every single book in his shop, the best way to make tea, the best places to eat, how old the earth was, that Medusa was just a joke pulled by Crowley that everyone took a little too seriously, and so on and so on.

He was also very certain that Crowley should have arrived approximately forty minutes ago. Granted, demons were never on time, but Aziraphale was also certain that Crowley was never this late for _him_. He had been dusting the shop in circles waiting around for him to stroll in, but... The doors never opened.

Aziraphale waited five more minutes, ten more, half an hour just to be nice, and lucky him that he was immortal and time was just a thing to remember but _still_ , it was unusually rude for his best friend to keep him waiting.

_What if he got into trouble, or discorporated?_

Aziraphale stopped his now-obsessive cleaning and worried his lip. It had been a year since the failed Armageddon, surely Hell hadn't figured out their trick just yet? Beezlebub should still be wings deep in paperwork down there, so surely there was no way they would have time to bring Crowley back...

But, still…

The angel made a final decision, and stepped into his back room where countless books of summonings and ceremonial candles cluttered the shelves.

"Alright Crowley, I'm only doing this because we are still, technically, at risk of being found out for our stunt, so I hope you don't mind me looking just a little to see where you are..." Aziraphale knew Crowley wouldn't hear him, but had to make an apology anyhow, considering how un-angelic it was to spy.

He lit three candles, opened a book he hadn't needed to use in 2,045 years to a page of Hell's markings and a small black feather belonging to his friend sat untainted by Earth's aging. Crowley had once found the angel's little summoning set up used to find him, and while Aziraphale frantically tried to assure him it was only because he was so worried about him, really, the demon's emotions had never felt so compromised.

Aziraphale closed his eyes as he ran his fingers over the page in one smooth circle, the candle flames dancing rapidly.

 _"Oh, Crowley, where have you gotten yourself tied up?_ "

***

The demon in question was nowhere near discorporated, or suffering at the hands of his almighty Lord Beezlebub.

Far from it.

He was instead currently wrapped in the silk sheets of a very wealthy, very good looking American man that had made a spectacular living off running his father's business. Crowley couldn't remember what business it was exactly; after all he hadn't seen this man since he'd first tempted him into bribing his father into signing him over absolutely everything- one of the dirtiest temptations Crowley had successfully pulled off, in his opinion. All he remembered was that his name was Richard, he loved redheads, and his dick did the talking.

Crowley wasn't proud of where he currently found himself, next to the sleeping man he'd tempted to sin, in a bedroom somewhere in a mansion fit for twenty. He should be proud of it.

Everyone else in Hell would be. But... He was only _there_ because he couldn't be where he wanted to be most.

He didn't _want_ the ungodly sexy human with a fantastic dick pounding him senseless all night long until neither of them could get out of bed the next day. He didn't _need_ it like so many of them did. He didn't think it such a demonic act of _heroism_ like everyone else Downstairs did.

This was where he went when he didn't want to be what he was.

All Crowley had to do was let his hair down in it's curls, put a dress on, give his chest some love, and ring the doorbell to the Malibu mansion. And he'd get treated like a god for as long as he wanted. He'd let the lustful human brain pinning him down decide what went between his legs.

He went there last night because he was supposed to see Aziraphale that day.

And he couldn't.

He thought things would be different after what they had been through together. He'd helped his best friend save the world. But he didn't even do that because he liked Earth- he did it because he liked Aziraphale. And seeing Aziraphale sad for all eternity was worse than anything else in the entire universe.

The way the angel had looked at him at the Ritz- he _swore_ that was it, that he'd finally won over the stubborn and precious angel his inhuman heart had ached for for so long.

But nothing did change.

Their freedom from their previous sides hadn't effected anything. Crowley believed Aziraphale would never touch him like he dreamed he would. He didn't want sex, he didn't want popularity, Hell, he didn't even want a body or Earth or anything- he just wanted to belong to Aziraphale for the rest of his damned life. But the future he craved never came. He supposed it was a sin, after all. An Angel being in love, and a demon being happy.

He took a breath in and wished he had his glasses to shield his now dewy eyes, but refuse to miracle them. His back ached, and whatever crotch he had ached even more. Sprawled on his side not planning on moving for another five hundred years if Richard would allow it, he settled for burying his face and letting his scarlet curls hide his shame.

_He deserved the shame- it was a sin, and he embodied sin._

***

Aziraphale's fingers trembled where they ran along the yellow pages of the summing book. His blue eyes shot open, dismissing the vision of the scene he'd gotten a picture of and breathing a sigh of relief at the familiar old wood of his bookshop walls.

He had… _found_ Crowley…

But he had not been prepared for where exactly he'd discovered him. Of course, Aziraphale knew demons were by nature drawn to tempting people into… _lustful_ actions, it was just part of the job, but... he always thought Crowley was a little bit different. But he knew what he saw. He was certain his demonic friend was the one sprawled naked with a body not entirely his own across some, some garbage human's bed in his stupid bedroom. Not only had he left Aziraphale waiting, but he had let him believe Crowley could have possibly gotten hurt! He had stood up his friend to, to do what? Lay with some human he didn't even know?

Aziraphale sucked in a breath as his hands came up to rub his eyes a little too hard. He just needed to breathe… He had no right to be so... _angry_ at Crowley. The demon had a job to do, of course. That's probably all it was. Beelzebub could have pulled him aside and simply told him _hey idiot, do your job or I'm revoking your Earth rights_! For all the angel knew, Crowley was just out there playing around with humans because Hastur had come slinking around again, and he didn't want to seem too suspicious.

But, Aziraphale knew, deep down in his true form, that this wasn't a job.

Beelzebub wouldn't dare test Crowley, not just yet. Neither would Hastur.

Crowley had clearly completed whatever devilish tasks he had set out to do… He was clearly free to go. He was awake in the spiritual vision when Aziraphale had found him.

But there he lay… While Aziraphale was at home worrying himself into spying just to make sure he was safe.

The angel blinked, even though he didn't need to, and stood up with a clenched jaw.

Crowley _wasn't_ safe, he decided. No, he didn't care if demons did this all the time. In fact, he was pretty sure they were supposed to lure _humans_ into having sex with people they weren't supposed to just for fun. Not, _participate in it!_ Especially not Crowley. Aziraphale had known his friend for more than six thousand years and yes, there had been times when Crowley was close to making love to a human, he never did. Demons didn't need to, demons didn't want to, not really. So there was absolutely no reason he would start such sinful hobbies now. Aziraphale felt _angry_ , and prayed to his Lord that she would forgive him for what he was about to do.

***

Three hours later, and Crowley had only moved but an inch. He lost count how many times exactly he had fallen back asleep and woken again, to the same scene. The same white sheets and pillows surrounding him, holding the secrets of the night before.

He thought sleeping was supposed to heal his shame filled wounds- it always had before. But each time his serpent eyes opened again, the deep pit of laziness and regret grew in his stomach.

He blinked slowly, wishing a cloud would roll over the bright sunlight for just a moment, bringing enough shade for him to fall into slumber once more. The morning light was too warm on his bare skin; it felt too good on his cold-blooded body, and he didn't deserve such comfort. He didn't want the hot California sun beaming in on him, warming him up just right- he wanted the weak sunlight of England to do half the job, and Aziraphale wrapped around him doing the rest.

 _Aziraphale_.

How would he explain himself? He didn't want to lie to the angel. He didn't deserve such deceivement from the poor excuse of a friend he'd chosen.

 _Aziraphale_ … and his blonde hair so bright it was almost like the white of Heaven itself.

 _Aziraphale_ , and… and his, stunning blue eyes that made the seas of the Caribbean look grey… that were currently looking back at him.

 _Aziraphale_? Oh, he was dreaming again. The endless torture of his existence was catching up to him, showing him everything he couldn't have.

" _Crowley_."

Oh yes, definitely dreaming, Aziraphale would never get angry with-

" _Crowley, sit up, right now you brainless imbecile!"_

" _Aziraphale_?" The demon sat up, and his hair fell away from his eyes to reveal a very real, and very unhappy, angel in front of him at the edge of the bed." What on Earth are you doing here?"

"What are YOU doing here!?" Crowley's mouth fell slack at the clear irritation on the angel's tongue.

"I'm, just...uh-"

"You left me to wait for you for nearly four hours, I thought something was wrong! I thought Hell had captured you, or someone had kidnapped you, or they found out about our plan last year, and I go to look for you and where do I find you!? In bed with some _putz_ of a man!?" Aziraphale's brows furrowed more than Crowley had ever seen before, and let out a groan of frustration. His eyes finally looked away from Crowley, unable to gaze into the sad, _sad_ fiery orange gaze currently looking back at him.

He hadn't been prepared for how distraught and regretful Crowley would look, and feel. A moment of silence fell in the space between them as Crowley sat naked on a stranger's bed and Aziraphale stood in front of him.

"Angel…"

"Don't _angel_ me, Crowley, just explain yourself!" His voice raised slightly, and thanks to the small touch of celestial miracles, Richard stayed deep in sleep on the other side of the bed.

"Aziraphale, I'm just doing my job, okay? Since when do you all care so much about it anyways? And how did you find me huh? I thought it was against angels' rules to go spying and getting angry at others." Crowley tried to sound angry, maybe just a little bit convincing, but his cursed luck in life did no help in hiding his true emotions.

"I did it because I care about you and I thought you were past these silly temptation shenanigans! But apparently you can't ever accept the fact that someone other than yourself could possibly give a damn about where you are or how you feel! Do not _lie_ to me, Crowley… I know you're not here to please the Lords of Hell, you even said yourself we don't belong to them anymore! So _please_ , just tell me dear, _what are you doing?"_ Aziraphale nearly whined- it was terrifyingly close to a cry- his pained voice had no shame, and the wetness of his eyes glistened in the gaze of the demon.

Crowley sat perfectly still, unbreathing, unblinking, never looking away from those angel eyes.

"I…" He started.

He almost lied. He almost went along with his false story, assuring his best friend that this really was nothing more than his own stupid duty on Earth. But Aziraphale was right; Crowley couldn't remember the last time he'd had sex for the sake of tempting a human. He knew Aziraphale couldn't say it, _wouldn't_ say it- " _why are you here fucking a human man you don't know?"_ And he couldn't lie to his angel anymore. Not when he was looking at him so sad like that.

The snake's heart deep in his chest beat hard, harder than it ever had before, and he cursed it internally wishing it would take that minute to go out for good.

"I'm here because I couldn't see you…"

_Damn his voice for breaking._

"What do you mean?" Aziraphale had every right for the hurt in his voice.

"I couldn't see you… I just… I missed you, okay…" His voice fell to a mumble. "I couldn't see you because I just fucking missed you..."

"Crowley, please, stop this nonsense!" Crowley opened his mouth to attempt better explaining himself again, but froze when Aziraphale's hands reached out and took a hold of his arms. He wasn't at all rough; he simply wrapped one arm securely around Crowley's naked torso, bringing their chests close together, and laid him down back on the bed as he leaned over him. Somewhere on the etheral plane, he felt glorious white wings spread high above them. The demon's cheeks heated to a hundred degrees as his wide eyes exposed nearly all of his thin pupils, gazing up at the angel's face only inches above his as he remained pinned down on the bed.

" _A-Angel_?" He gasped.

" _Crowley, listen to me._ " The monotone voice Aziraphale growled out made the demon's thighs twitch. "I know you. This isn't like you. You feel sad, and I don't know _why_ or what has happened, but if it is my fault, _please_ , just tell me and I can make things right! I don't want to lose you, not again. So tell me what it is you're going through, what have I done? I don't care if you need to shout at me, or curse me! But please don't go throwing yourself into such hideous situations as this! I will not let you be so stupid, I know you are smarter than anyone else on Earth! I won't let you give your _temple_ of a body away to such undeserving humans, to be soiled and treated unright. You deserve so much more than this, and _him_ , and how _dare_ you think anything otherwise. Crowley, if you were feeling lonely, you know you could have told me? Or, if you don't want to see me anymore then fine, just! Please, tell me! Don't disappear and degrade yourself like this… I-I thought I may have lost you again, a-and…"

"Oh, Lord, angel _please_ , _breathe_ …" Crowley was crying now, just silent tears rolling steadily down his cheeks, and all he could think to do was bring his hand up to cup the angel's face. Aziraphale's eyes never broke away from his. They shone with tears threatening to fall, his lips twisted in a small frown that Crowley never wanted to see there again.

"Crowley, I just-"

"Angel it's okay." The demon forced out. He then forced a smile upon his lips, the tips of fangs just barely exposing themselves. The seconds of silence growing between them was needed, as Aziraphale let his anger go and Crowley's soul connected with his energy, using it to stabilize each other. "Funny though… I thought angel's weren't supposed to be so angry, huh?" His grin grew genuine as Aziraphale mirrored it.

"Oh, forget rules, I just… can't _stand_ to see you be practically owned by someone else, in such sinful ways."

"Aziraphale, I'm a demon… it's what I'm supposed to do."

"I know, but… not you. Not really."

"You jealous?" A low chuckle escaped Crowley's throat. The angel's eyes broke away from his for the first time in minutes to roll in a sigh, leaning to the side of his friend but never loosening his grip. Crowley hoped he never would.

"Please come home with me." He whispered as he looked at him again. A hand gently, curiously, came up to run its fingers over his head and through the long, deep red curls. Crowley's eyes fluttered shut as his hands gripped Aziraphale's shirt just a little tighter, sucking in a shaky breath as he forced his purr away.

_Oh, he would never need to be asked that twice._

"Why? You gonna let me lay around naked at yours?"

"If that's what you want."

Crowley opened his inhuman eyes once more, and smiled with the most joy he'd had since Armageddon.

"Come on, I can't stand to see you in someone else's bed any longer."

 _"Oh, angel! How sinful of you!_ "

"Crowley, please, you know what I mean." The laugh he earned from the demon just before they miracled themselves to Aziraphale's home, was all the angel needed to hear.


End file.
